cab driver! lost love yeah right


yeah read

Now all know that me and preacherman is two person in one but both tried to be the best but both of us agree on this one right preacherman! YEAH ! she was a piece of cow doo doo! TELL the story cab driver: Well we was in between the love of our life crushing our heart to talking to the most popular girl in high school but it had a catch I was not`in school and she was popular in another way she was a undercover crack head but at the time I did not know she had a big but banging body and she was a red bone if you don’t know what a red bone is this is a black woman who is light skin and I have to give it to her she was a good looking girl! First I had her we got high we partied like it was no tomorrow I smoked weed and did cocaine and all was fine until preacherman ask her to marry him oh hell no the biggest mistake we ever made! OK peep this: I’m 30 miles at work and need a ride thinking my love of my nightmares was coming at 12:00 no one 1:00 no one called and no one 2:00 no one good thing one of the supervisor worked late and was going to darlington and I ask him to give me a ride home all the way home he is steady laughing and trying to throw hints about her but me with my slow self did not pay him any attention. But he was a good friend and to be real about it some how i wish she was gone why I was still in love with let’s call her Lillie mae ok. But my love for her was so deep that I shot up the project with a sawed off shot gun and many doors was shot why her old boyfriend was in the house and I was out not because I did something wrong this is going to sound crazy but would you believe that for six years I was totally faithful to her and wanted to have a life with her but she left me for a boy who can break dance and softball games! My heart was broken so one up for mens we all is not cold hearted pieces of crap! And still was in love but when I met the crack head in my mind she would get jealous and see me with a red bone and come back to me but this never happen! SO back to hell we go with the crack head! Now as we get close to my house the supervisor said some thing now I understand but then I didn’t! HE SAID WITH A CHUCKLE MAKE SURE YOU GET TO WORK TONIGHT! AND YOU CAN DRIVE YOUR CAR! Now you ask your self why in the world would he say you can drive your car? So when he drop me off at the top of the road and would not take me home because he said he did not have time so I walked to my house it was lit up my car was in the front drive so I ran to the door and bang on it all the voices I heard just stopped and the running began I looked on the side off my house and two men out the window in the woods and as I ran to see now three came out the front door now no way i could catch any off them why they had a big jump on me so now i’m at my back door mad as hell but this take the cake coming from down the road here come my wife and this is what she said the car won’t crank and I went to get help to crank it! Lie number 1. Lie number 2 .I asked what is all these men in my house? She said her brother had come by and he brought them! well where is your brother? Lie number 3.He went to get jumper cables. SO I go to my car and the car crank! Not i’m really piss now! Lie number 4. She said I never said it would not crank I said he went to cables so if the battery go dead we can crank it! The car had a bad skip to it now listen I am a good mechanic and you have to bring a car with our a real motor to stump me so I went to the car and put the spark plug wire on and the car ran fine! Lie number5.How the wire get off the car? Now this is the real deal she had plan to have a crack party and she did not want me to come home and find them why she was a undercover crack smoker! But every one knew but stupid me! I”M still trying to make the love I lost by being a good boy friend who had six years of faithfulness and what it got me a crackhead wife who lie,steal and cheat just to get a drug that kills you from within! No this is not funny but it is true my life is so screwed up that i’m still trying to find help! that’s why I blog to get it out of my mind! peace pastorsvoice>



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preacherman: smoking van!

Now cab driver you dick! You think you are the man! I MADE YOU! NEVER did you made me now I”M On TOP NOT YOU SIT Your punk butt back and listen! We had to go to hamlet N.C and back in that time all we had was a 83 Chevy van! this death trap was blue and white and had blue tint on the windows and the tint was the best thing on this van why because it hides you and no one know who is in there because this van smoked really bad when you stop at a light who ever is behind you was in trouble! Your car is covered with smoke and it didn’t matter if you roll your window up smoke will cover you! Now in Darlington the police they just looked and laugh! But fast forward to leaving first we stop to gas station in a cloud of smoke all these men getting out the van coughing and dress in suits! We embark on this poor station with smoke and pride! We fill up gas tank but that’s not the ticker went we brought oil it was scary four quarts of oil is you serious! It only take five quarts to change the oil! Now this was the starting point of the oil run in a blaze of smoke we was off got on 301 and let the smoking begin! If they needed a bug sprayer they had a free one man we smoked up that highway and when we got to Dillon the van started to knock! And I mean knocking so we stop and did not get gas but four more quarts of oil! Now knocking and smoking we were off again! Time as we got to whistle stop the cops was not laughing! Four deep roll on us now picture this 12 black men in suits in a blue and white smoking van! Did not go well in north carolina.These cop had guns out and made us all come out of the smoke like we just came out of a tar heel football tunnel but there was no field! Just cops and cars! The patrol came to the driver and said give me your licence and no smile! But that van was still smoking so one other patrol said will one of you turn that van off and we said it is off! That when the picking start! those cops started picking so bad that WE WISH THAT THEY GIVE US THE TICKET AND GO! But no we was the talk of the town two more highway patrol came and you would think that they will be professorial heck no they started to pick and said no way is we letting this van come threw town! Bypass need spraying picked one patrol! Now we all get back in the van and guess what we need more oil! So not only do we have to endure all eyes on us but these cops follow us to the store and wait! Now we is not only smoking on the road but we got these cops with lights and sirens scream! It was a blessing to have blue tint on the windows you can hide now you will think they will go on but no right up to the church! NOW All these people just stop and look like the cops was just saying to the church look at this! A trail of smoke that descent right to us and with a big ball of smoke 12 black men smelling like brunt oil get out. So many people laugh so hard we thought we was at a Richard Pryor show but these was church people and they did not care all threw church we was known as the 12 burnt holy rollers and to top it all off the van would not crank! Now if you think that church people is nice heck no they picked so hard that if I could I will just burn the whole town down! don’t go on a trip in a smoking van! peace pastorsvoice


my van smoked worst



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Cab driver: don’t get it twisted!

Who is the man! Not preacherman! Three is weak I said: three boy you sick and your stories don’t compare to mine! So sit back and make sure you are not eating or drinking when you read this one. Why I don’t want you to get choke from laughing to much! JUST picture Six fat people in a five passenger car! Its 97 degrees no a/c in the cab now coming down US 151 no wind in site! The light turn red and that’s where the fun begins the lady in the front said oh oh I got to go! Now at this time she confirm that she had to go by letting one rip in the front seat right by me then look at me and said do you smell that and let out a laugh! Me trying to stay professional said I understand and hoped that the light change! But no that light took for ever and when it did change it was to late two of the ones in back started fussing about how much manners she did not have and right in the middle of 151 these two jump out to go in the field to fight!Now all is screaming and cussing each other out! Now I go to the side of the road to get the two back in the car and the farting lady lean over and said to me you smell good! Then the fat kid holla out the window Daddy mom-ma is flirting with the cab driver again! Now don’t get it twisted Push come to shove I can handle my self but now I had not one big person after me now she is looking at me saying what you think you are to good for me?I scream you are married to act like that was the only reason that I did not want you! Now you got mutt and jeff in the field beating the crap out of each other! mom and pa snuffle at the back of my cab pushing one other and me and this kid who started his mom and pa to fight now he is on the phone with his aunt! By now you would have think someone would have called the cops! But noooooo! Not a cop in sight! Now mom and pa is slapping each other mutt got jeff in a head lock on the ground and me and this kid who have tune all out and zone on the phone! Then the kid said “OK” I will tell them!Just like that ! Now me I’m so surprise that not one cop came not one even drove by! This kid bust out and said “AUNT JEAN SAID ARCHIE AND HIS FAMILY IS HERE WE BETTER HURRY UP! Like a bolt of lightning these four big behemoths made a b-line for my cab! Hell I lost it. BABY this is cab driver and I don’t take no mess! Heck I took my self put it in the driver’s seat and drove them fools to james paul drive! And said:FOR FOOD HELL NO! Now watching dirty mutt and jeff leave their sand and dirt in my cab! Moms winking at me dad pushing her out the car and the kid left me this: ‘How much do we owe you because we pay at the first of the month! Now about this time cab driver is totally piss! Why it is the 8th of the month so I had to wait until next month to get my money! Then I say to him on the first 50 dollars better be in my hand! And you know what this kid said “it don’t matter we never pay any way that why the other cab company stop riding us and they told us to call you because you would bring us home! And he jump his little fat but out my cab and laugh! Could not call cop because our rule is get your money before you leave! could not kick any one’s tail because there was more of them then it was of me and if they beat the hell out of each other what do you think that they would do to me? Now what do you do? Holla out the window as you drive out the yard in high speed Kiss MY Whole black ass! and the cab cut off! OH DIP! I’m trying to crank this cab and all these people who I just told to kiss my black ass is coming! PLEASE GIVE ME A BUTT KICKING MACHINE! BUT when they got to the car they said why you left we did not pay you here’s your money! Mutt said we heard what you said and that person on the phone must be mad huh? Boy talking about a ass saving line! These people was sure I told some one on the phone to kiss my ass when I was talking to them! moral to this is “Don’t write a check that you ass can’t cash! And believe me this was a check my ass could not cash!


so funny!

peace pastorsvoice!

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Preacherman:oh no she did not sing that!

Well that cab driver just got 7 views and 2 likes on bloggers hey i’m double him with this one how the 7 that read cab driver tell two of your fiends to view because they miss this! let’s flow! All that go to a church or seen a church service. To the people who really know how to sing big ups to ya! and to the people like me who know you can’t sing thanks for your realness! But to the ones that get on the radio, the microphone,the stage,in front of church,or in public this blog is for you!The setting a church in the south you know those woman who come from the south mostly can really blow that can put the oooh oooh and the well well well old my lord.And make your soul move you know make your liver miss and deliver and make your back spasms jump up and holla blow girl! But we are not talking about that one feel me? The one we are talking about: name = nyashia I guess this is the way you spell it why the names mothers and fathers give there poor children a name that Webster don’t list! Now peep this church is full upstairs and down all the bishops, elder and pastors in pulpit mothers and deacons all the members of the pulpit staff is up clapping at nickie see that is a name! But the MC had to go by the program! Man what a bad mistake! He Called nyashia you heard a chuckle! Now this should hint about what was about to come! Now as she walked you will hear little laughs and little voices saying words that you just could not make out! But by the looks on the faces of the girls that was sitting with her said don’t do that! But you know church people is always putting on a front! But this time and the only time the true feeling came out of them! She came up and she talked like an angel so sweet and so softly that you just know she was going to move the whole church over two inches! But when she open her mouth this was going to be bad! First you heard the mothers say lord have mercy and every church has one a woman who you call mother but she is not quite as holy as the rest and she busted out what the hell is that girl singing! Now about this time half of the church is try their damest not to laugh! NOW she grab the mic like she was lil’ kim and broke down in a move that did not match what was coming out her mouth now she hit a high note that did not fit her voice and the pulpit lost it! The mothers was saying why in the hell did they let her sing for! All the young kids was dyeing laughing But none of this phase nyashia she thought she was rockin the house when the house was so bust up laughing at how bad she sound and the freak came out of her when she got the mic she closed her eyes and went at it hard! But you know how them kind is: The only one who said she can sing was herself! No one else said that and when she walked off the stand one of the mothers said what the hell you was doing! and see said look! the pulpit was gone all who was acting like they was holy was saying what the f#*K don’t you get your non-singing ass on that stage no more! This was the best time to be a pastor! Why I got to see this first hand! peace pastorsvoice! Now you cab driver watch what you say because this is on!!!!!!!!!!!


because you can't!

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Cab driver: do not blink !



Do not adjust you eyes and “no” this is not a prop. No this is just what it look like a bike with steering wheel on it! Yes this picture was taken 5/18/2012.NO this is not a 1970 flash back.When I took this picture my mind said look how far we come. Now please take this blunt out my hand and don’t let me smoke no more! Because after seeing this bike and the 47 year old man who rode it! It took me back! Hey listen I was before the preacherman! And if it was not for me there would not have been a preacherman! Wow this is good cab driver is talking smack about preacherman! Get back to him later! DON”T BLINK this will be fast and to the point! Let me tell the story! Back in the day when I live around the way I remember when I drove a 19 73 four door impala that did not have locks on the back doors and any one who didn’t have money.Well all you do is jump out and run! and hope you can out run the cab driver. NOT on my shift man i was a good fast runner! And it came in good when you jump out a man’s window and run because he came home early! So while taking this man lets call him “mud”! So Mud start talking and mud was talking too much and mud did not know that where he was taken me I knew the area and I was ready sure enough when he got to the house he jumped and run! So me being me I took off behind him we turn and ran behind some house and cross the road into a yard that all ways you was told don’t go in the yard! At this moment I didn’t give a rats ass about the yard or what was said this fool name mud was sure he was going to out run me. BOY I wish he did! See this was the year that the Doberman pincher was the dog to have! Good for home owner bad for two people who bolts in a dark yard and end up needing one another! Boy these people had two big ones a red one and a black and gold looking one! Now me and him was fast I give him that much! But those dogs was faster jump higher and did not scare! Man we stop dead in our tracks just like the road runner! Now when we took off I pulled away but as the dogs got closer he caught up with me! Now I had a gun but at that time it did not cross my mind! So we made it to a small fenced in lot we dash in the lot slamming the gate behind us with these two dogs running around the outside of the fence! They was barking like we was the lunch that got away! Now after catching my breath I turn my sight on mud! So I pull my gun and ran toward him! He shouted what? you got a gun why the F#@K you didn’t shoot the dogs? But you can pull it out on me? Bad move number two! Look you got a small lot fenced in lot two big dogs on the outside running wild! one white man and a black young man with a gun! And we is in town that has a rebel flag flying high! So when cops come do they grab the dogs no! Do they grab the white man NO! Straight to the crazy black man with a gun! Now my cab ride turn into another ride! still did not get my fair and the dogs got a treat for running me in a fence! Mud thought he was Scott free but he had to come down and tell why a black man and you was in a fence with two dogs circling you! BOY THE STRANGEST THINGS YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU BLINK AT WHAT YOU SEE! PEACE PASTORSVOICE

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Preacherman:More bull for your ear!

CHRISTIAN MINGLE! What a load of crap. How can you stick Christian in front of mingle and say this site is God sent?. KISS MY BALL’S. You get the tricky dicky award! And i applaud you. You have managed to take something as stupid as online match making to new levels of stupidity. How can you put Christian and fool the world that sometimes God needs help to find you a mate? WOW brilliant! These people have made a profit off of something that you have hide for all your life that you really suck at…..DATING! To get a date you must be FIRST date-able. Now most of you who goes to this website or any just like it have one big problem you can say you don”t have time or your career haven”t given you opportunity to date or better yet ‘i’m just not good at it.’ So if you are not good at it and the group of people that this website put together is not good at it… Why would you pay for something your not good at. How dumb is it to know you suck and the one who you pick SUCK and both of you paying to SUCK when you can suck for FREE! How stupid is the concept “They found my match for me” and in reality i still have to pick it/him/her/them/or heck WHATEVER. You may say in the end the one who sucks at dating still have to pick another one who sucks at dating and then pay for it both of them who sucks at dating. Lets be REAL just like Bull balls in mustard or squirrel brains in jelly. It doesn’t take an internet dating service that just put christian in front of mingle to say IT’S ALRIGHT. See they get DRUNK in the same bars, at the same birthday parties,funerals,weddings,get together, Saturday nights not only get drunk but get LAID in the same motels,hotels,holiday inns and if YOUR girl start acting up don’t worry she ain’t got a friend because if she did, you wouldn’t be on this STUPID SITE!! In my conclusion take these words to heart before INTERNET there was DATING. Before STUPIDITY of DATING online there was DATING OFFLINE. So what am i saying?…. How much more BULL does it take before you notice that they’re SCREWING YOU and YOU PAY FOR IT. Need date GET YOUR BUTT OUT THE HOUSE, SWIM IN THE WATER AND GET ONE. Peace
-Pastorsvoice


HERE'S YOUR BUTTON..............STUPID

Cab driver: Rumble on Grove st.

Well hold on to your seats this is a ride you won’t forget just to remind you this blog is 100% true! Last night it hot and raining! Not drinking weather at all. But you know how it is rain or shine some one will get a drink! Well the two people who is in this blog had no business fighting one had one leg he was 6 foot 7in and weigh about 270-275. And the other one was about 5 foot 3in.and weigh about 140-145. So they finished up drinking a 5th of E&J Rum.So heat and rum don’t mix! We will call one:”have mercy”and the other one:”kels”. Now “have mercy” only had one leg but he is a big black man who’s drank liquor like water! And kels drank heavy too! So mouths starts and the two liquor is talking.So kels being the hot head of the bunch he told” have mercy” keep talking and I will bust you in the head with this E&J bottle! So no one took kels serious out of the blue kels took that bottle and bust” have mercy” in the head! Now all is looking for blood because the bottle broke and all kels had in his hand was a small piece of bottle and no more! Listen there are two things you just don’t do! ONE hit a man in the head with a bottle who weights 270. TWO don’t take your shirt if the man cross from you weights 270 pounds! Now you would have thought getting hit in the head with a E&J bottle would at lease hurt,stop,or lay him out right! SO SO SO Wrong! This big black man stood up on that one leg and the wooden one was in front as a pole that you can spin on. And kels took of his shirt and you just known kels had some fire in him! but before you blink” have mercy” took those big dick beaters and grab kels and no matter how drunk you was you knew this was very bad! the first punch took kels lips and move them in two different direction! But kels got up why I don’t know! Heck lay down and act dead this is a really big man! But kels liquor told him to get up STOP! TO every man if your liquor tell you to get up you need to ask it why is i’m down here in the first place! SO he got up and “have mercy” did not live up to his name! NO MERCY should have been his name! He hit kels so hard the second time that both of his nipples on his chest can together and gave each other
a high five like they was home boys! Now if that was me I would have looked at “have mercy” and said thank you for moving my lips and letting my nipples touch for the first time.My bad you got your point across! Let me lay here until my breath come back OK. Thanks! But kels fooled him self again you know he got spunk! But spunk is not what he need! HE NEEDED SOME ONE ELSE BODY! WHY his was mess up in two punches.You remember rocky how you wanted him to get up! HECK This is not rocky we told him to stay down because “have mercy” was not mad he was laugh so hard it was scary! But bold stupidity must have been in Kels family this fool got up talking trash! Now is enough is enough? Now with a evil laugh he hit kels dead between the eyes! OK ITS OVER NOW RIGHT? DUH! MAN HECK NO! HAVE mercy give a kick with the pole and down he go! Now if you are in the back round smoking weed you are about to die laughing now! Every body just stopped! Even Kels stop talking! because he was threw! No fight was in him just mouth! We all look at him and ask MAN HOW BIG IS YOUR HEAD THAT A FIFTH OF E&J BOTTLE COULD NOT TAKE YOU DOWN
BUT THIS MAN IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU MISS AND FALL? HE SAID MAN I’M DRUNK! Trust me no one picked at “have mercy” and for as kels well Thursday night I go to work we see! peace pastorsvoice!


have mercy please!

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