Can I bum a cigarette/

Hey there was a time in my life where most people smoked but never had a pack to smoke out they all ways came and said can I get a smoke? We made a phrase to say to them listen! " The Camel walks the Eagle flies you know you smoke why won't you buy?" We had it bad a pack of smokes never last you when more than you are smoking out of it. Now I know you ones who came from good neighborhoods did not have this to deal with. But where I am from most smoked and all did not have money to buy and you had the ones that have  pockets full of dope money but never had a cigarette. Now this is the worst bum of all the one that seems to smell when you light a joint up back then we called them joints but now it's blunts! These leaches all ways come and bum a drank out of you beer or say buy me a beer or smoke as long as you smoke and when they get ready to leave say give me one for the road because when I wake up and eat I need something to smoke. We had bums of all walk of life big ones little one stank one and pretty one but they had one thing in common they was bums! They bum so much that you hide you stuff until they leave and some got smart they would come right back and catch you and say I thought you said you didn't have any thing! Man we had them so bad that they would come to your house and ask if they can borrow your T.V to see a show that's coming on why their T.V stay in the shop! Man hate to go to club why some one who is a bum got in by bumming a dollar off some one and all night long bum drinks and then bum a ride to get home and they for some reason had the finest girl that would do anything for their bumming azz! Just anyone can't be good at bumming as these! Why they came from a bumming family! Yes a whole family of bums! Just throw a party and see how long your beer and liquor last and to my amazement they never get drunk! Drank and bum all day and still walk home now that's a pro at bumming! First of the they be out in droves! Now they get a check but own it all out by bumming all month long! Now days the bum has evolved to a crack head and their skills has change too! One time long ago they  always bum now they sale you your stuff back that they stole when they was at your house! Need some pampers for your kid go to a crack head he got the ones that you thought your sister stole from you for that bad azz kid of hers! No not sis but the new bum A crackhead and they is not only black no more they make up the rainbow and good at what they do! peace pastorsvoice!

Damn you are good those are my new ports see no hands! just a tidy!  

Cable T.V bull!

Now to all that love cable TV I got one question how much damn reruns can we watch hell HBO,Show time starzs,Tmc,and cinemax!They charge you to see what you saw in the 80's most of their programing was program when I was young hell I'm 50 now a fast time at ridge mount high is still on there we pay starting from $114.00 for basic cable and on Monday the same damn shows is still on Friday now I love me some law and order but I have seen all of them and have no choice because every day it's in the line up! How many shopping channels we need? Don't talk about news Jodi Ares was prime time on CNN hell if you shot a man then stab him all those times and cut his throat hell Stevie Wonder can see that you killed him! Not only that our COPS now got their own shows on how many time they stop a car But can't stop a man from beating and killing his whole family and get lost in Mexico! Talk shows man they just talk to damn much we know that he's not your baby daddy when you done had ten other guys on saying that they was your baby daddy! Night time is the worst the history channel don't show no more history they got swamp people catching gators and pawn stars now if they had Porn stars heck I will tune in! Can you tell me what does a old barn in a field some where you never heard of to find junk? Just go to a junk yard it specialize in junk that's why it's called A JUNK YARD! Now this is one of the good one;s bridezilla Heck just don't marry that can't please heifer and why would you if she act like that before you get hitch think how big of a pain she will be after you say I do! Now one of the most biggest kids watch channel Disney It's bad when my nine year old say's I seen that when I was four years old all that money that they make you can show a line up or something new in five years? The looney tunes is still funny still to this day but poor Dora could not grow up when she did no one liked her so what they did went back to the old ones not trying to just make a new one why we are still paying big money to see the old one. Now to see some one wipe out or bust their azz by doing something so stupid hey they got that the only problem is every show play the same clip on some one getting mess up by trying to fit your big azz in something that a skinny person will not get in! OK cable TV act just like dish and direct TV. they go out when it rain or a little wind blow! But all is trying to get your money! Tell me cable TV is bad BUT the big three is worst not to have cable is a lost but to have only the three networks get ready to know that at day you will see the same show and some times you can see the same show twice a day! Now the internet you can't beat! Dial up sucks really bad! If it's so bad Eddie why when it get cut off you miss it so bad? Well when your car suck you still drive it don't you? So let me wine why I still have it and still watch it why Hell I pay for TV and TV I WILL SEE! But still I WANT NEW I WANT NEW TV SAY IT WITH ME I WANT NEW TV see you don't like to read but you do! peace pastorsvoice Remember we want new TV!

cutting the mustard!

Ok I know this is gross! But some one got to say it! Why the hell went you get on a elevator and somebody fart all acted like they don't smell it no one will say who cut the mustard or blue cheese alert! No they will stand there with high class azz on it and act like nothing wrong! Ok lets get one thing straight It's don't matter how fine you are or how slim you are or how good looking you are your azz fart! And why ladies act like they don't or when they do they will say something so stupid like excuse me I made a smelly! No you farted! And that stinks! Yes most proper people will say I got gas! What gas station give you fuel that smells like that? See this happen to me as I was in the court house to pay one thing that as long as you live you must do whether you want to or not PAID TAXES! So I got on the elevator With clerks,attorneys And police men so I felt out of place to start with and when the door closed someone put out a silent one that smelled up the elevator and all of them was acting like they did not smell it! So me with my big mouth said dog someone is stank and rotten! So all those high class people looked at me like I said something wrong! So me being me I said that's someone who have no manners! And then the cop said keep your opinion to your self! So I waited until the door open and before the people who was on the floor that I got off at got on I said they be farting in there beware! And the people did not get on that one! Now that I'm home and on my laptop I can say my opinion! Some stank azz person needed to check their drawers or panties! Because they was rotten And to that cop that say keep your opinion to your self you is nothing but a fart sniffer! Sorry to say this but I'm in the south and this is still here A black man in an elevator with white people making a scene That's jail time to start with no matter if you are right! To me I say if you blow it then own it right? Don't just act like your fart don't stank! This is what pretty girls say and I tell them stop lying heifer you stank! But this is the worst one of all when you fart and put it on the dog! And when you are asked you say the dog did it! Most may say that's wrong to put it on the dog but the dog can put out some powerful ones it's self and then look at you like it's saying WHAT WHAT I DON'T SMELL NOTHING! That's when I kick his azz out of the room! Don't get me wrong we all do it all I say is don't acted like you don't smell it when it happen just laugh it off and say my stomach was boiling and I couldn't hold it we who have a mind will understand but you will be called stank azz or say check you tightie whiteies or you got to have a highway down you drawers! I know most won't talk about it well heck I'm not most I'm the one And if you don't like it next time you are in a mall or store and walk down the isle and you smell a fart keep your mouth close because you don't like to talk about it you old fart sniffer! You love when the blue cheese is giving out bet you smell the seat of trains buses and cars to just smell a fart! peace pastorsvoice!

Get shorty out of jail!

Help me get shorty out of jail! We need to posted his bond! Most places don't know shorty but in the hood where all his boys are shorty is most wanted! They show him no respect! When they post bail they treat him like a dog! See I met shorty in my teenage years! And he was one bad moe foe! I seen him hit a big man and make him fall out! He just treat a pretty lady like she is not nothing! When we party everyone want shorty to come well who is this shorty? Heck a half of pint of liquor! This guy has many names! In my hey day everyone wanted GIN! The cheaper the better then we could get his twin to out of jail! Oh jail is the ABC store! See he sit in jail all week and on Friday we was bailing him out! And some one is going to acted up or acted like shorty was on board! You might call him something else. But where I was from shorty was the man and his cousin mad dog 20/20! Many of us lost all our food to him! He took us on a ride that made some fight each other that night and was bested of friends the next day! Heck shorty made your breath smell like you suck the bottom of the bottle! If some one smoke be careful your lips will go up in flames! And moonshine or stump hole was the head banger! All knew we Mr stump hole was in control! You mouth smelled just like your butt! But we was so cool that we could hang with them and be a bunch of azz wipes! And any ones tried to tell us other wise we call them gut busters! Why gut buster because my gut was on fire and they bust it with stupidity of don't drank to late you gut buster I'm all ready drunk! To you who never drank well good for you! But we got shorty out and he was our friend that made us think we was on top of the world! See some can't tell you what they want to until shorty come in then they can tell you what's on their mind!And if you got mad then shorty made me do it! Women made shorty out to be why they gave up the booty! But they still hang with him the next weekend! See lord Calvert pull me out a car and threw me in a ditch with my curly kit in my head Oh you don't know what a curly kit is? A curly kit is what you used when your head is so nappy and pea-zey that a comb would break when they comb your hair! But when you get that perm or curly kit your hair look like you have some Indian in your family! That what we said when we had good smooth hair! But you didn't stopped there you got jell that was so greasy that when the wind blow whats in the air stuck to your head! So lord calvert ditch me and put all that sand and trash in my curly kit! Then he punch me in my stomach and made me puke all over my self and they took me home to mother and she beat me back to my self and from then on shorty stayed in jail! But this new kid that was from another country came in and her name was weed or mar- gee want- her mary jane! And my life change! To all shorty is a wanted man look below! peace pastorsvoice

private investigators

Hey all that remember Kojak,Cannon,Magnum p.i,Rockford files where you seen these people just go ham and never losing a case! Like Perry mason how they just get all the facts and bust the bad guys! Well there are two new P.I's and they are damn good! First Lets get this straight the old ones it did not cost nothing and now it cost not just jail but your car your pay check your tax refund and yes your freedom! First let show how car is first we have a new P.I call title loans yes title loans now how the hell can I say Title loans well listen to this a preacher was doing a funeral at the church and when they got in the funeral car and left to go to grave site and put the man in the ground and they came back to the church his car was gone! He was lost he just knew some one pulled a bad prank! But it was not a prank they found the church and took his car now who will take a car from a church A title loan will they will find a car no matter where it is! And the bad thing about it most of the time you don't owe no more than $500 or $600 dollars and they sell them for 2to3 thousands of dollars and you still have a debt to pay after they made a profit! And they are real good at that you ask me how I know well when in my early years as being a cab driver my car had needed a motor so I took all that I had and got one then my transmission went out so I got a loan for $468 dollars and no matter how much I made my payment I still owed $468 dollars all I paid was interest not the principal. So one day I went in cab stand and sit down 30 minutes pass and I got a call so when I went out there was no cab! Brand new motor and transmission! was gone! And I still have a $468 dollar debt! This is a good scam! But it's legal you owe and can't pay you lose your car that is three times more than the loan! But that's one this is a better one Child-support! These people will find you when they can't find a terrorists or a killer or a bail jumper! But a dead beat dad your busted! They will go to the north pole and get your azz and make you pay the court their $4.10 for court cost on $15.00 a week now how in the hell $15.00 can take care of a child? And we know that if you bang you win a baby! But this is my point! How can you find a dead beat dad off Facebook but can't read someone who will bomb a race and talk about it! This just blows me You will sit and set a man up for a $5.00 bag of weed but you can't stop some nut that put all his act on Facebook and then the next day go and kill kids in school. The new P.I is far from the ones I knew and trusted! You be the judge and see how it's all about how much money we can get! So beware how can you get a loan for all your check in a week when you are already a week behind? How can you catch up you can live off what you have and if you don't have it you don't need it right now ok? Look down at picture and you be the judge! peace pastorsvoice!

stupid things we say!

Hey" ya'll OK I get it we talk funny most of the time but sometime we do say some dumb stuff! Like who the hell is Bo"? Every brother calls every one BO" my name is Eddie not Bo"! Sweet cheeks did you taste my butt or lick my face how is my Cheeks sweet? Well I beg the differ what? No I'm begging you to have a different view at all heck! OK what is the heck I'm talking about Ya'll know you don't know "well bless your little heart". Phases like that make us look lost at people. And we say in our mind what the hell is you talking about? Here's another one we live in the boondocks. Is that a name for a city? Or as some town. Can I give you a lift? What can you pick me up man you can't lift me I'm too heavy! Oh you mean can you give me a ride! Yeah cuz you can. Are you my cousin? Howdy Y'all OK this is crazy! First thing why are you puttin around! What is puttin around this just blow me! Don't get me wrong it's just some of the darnest thing we can say! Yes we use some silly words where I live but being from Jersey I had to get used to the talk here but I'm fixin in! Oh I'm fixin to! Now I know I have most lost at my words but this is the way they talk in Centerville S.C. A great place to settle down in but getting to know the people is bomb digaidy yes they say bomb digaidy! So let me just mosey along! He He just one more phase they used! OK " My ear is itching some one is talking about me and it's raining and the sun is out "man the devil is beating his wife with a frying pan! Yes all you need to stop lollygaggin And how is your momannem! Now with that word I know you are lost as hell now It got me too! I had to say WTF? When a bug bite you they said you are eat up! Hell no a damn bug bit me! And I'm still here do you see I'm not eat up! And which is it uptown or downtown not I'm going into the city! Well I'm going over yonda or yonder if I'm proper! Because you can bet your pea picking mind! Really can my mind really pick a pea? Last and the most used here I reckon you are right! Reckon reckon what the hell is that? Did any of you had some poon tang last night? Man that poon tang what so stank last night but it was good! Man you got the hebe-geebee's Thats what alining you! I guess I got to fit in where I get in! Ok tot-tot for now peace to ya'll pastorsvoice! DEAL WITH IT IT'S THE SOUTH AND THEY ARE PROUD OF IT!

tried hiking and was the lunch

Well I was born in Elizabeth N.J most of my young life and the closet tree was in the park. And when we move to South Carolina the streets was in me and I did not care for any danm woods unless I was getting some booty in the rain in them or park in a car wearing out the back seat front seat hood and trunk the roof was not strong enough it would bend! But never went in them! So spending time here they hunt,fish,hike and do alot in the woods so my best friend who was white tried to help me to enjoy the woods! So he took me fishing first and me and worms did not make it the brown stuff that come out of it when you stick that hook in them did not smell to good! And the nats love it! So out on this big river all I did is see how far can I throw this hook and weight and it piss him off when the line broke he said put that danm reel-n-rod in the truck so that ended my fishing trip! Now hunting give me a gun and I trun in to a shooting fool trees, ground,cans,air but not and animal all my flesh came from grocery store! And to kill and skin and eat hell no! Usda stamp is not on them and mad cow shit happens what if there is crazy deer shit and I eat the deer and act like a deerSee this is crazy and I don't like three somes! So I tried hiking and this was a very bad ideal! See I packed the family up and went to florence to a hiking trail we set down and ate a lunch that my wife put together and while we ate the mosquitos and biting flys came and we did not invite them so we ran and got some bites but that was not all we went on the trail and it was woodie and water and mud and I tried to acted like I was having fun until we got back to truck and there was a little brown bug on my wife so I flicked it off and went home low and behold there was more brown bug not only on her but on everyone these bugs was ticks and we was there lunch we had bugs in places that no bug should be! We had to pick bugs off and out and in spots the you don't want a bug! Hell crabs you can kill but these blood drinking shits you can bust and they still move! Now I don't try stuff that I don't know what the hell I'm doing! I want to go camping but my wife said this "we are not meant to be in woods that why we got a danm house and I can kill all that come in!" So if any one is willing to teach me woods heck e-mail me and we will hook up! This is how those basters stop my woods look! Brown Basters!