my lazy azz!

There are some days I'm so lazy that I hate to move my butt! Man I wish that they can make a lazy man thing to do all my work even my workouts! Today I'm so lazy that I hated to get my pillow from the foot of the bed! But we all have those days don't we? Here's a way that I can still be lazy and get the job done! Watch this get a machine that cooks cleans walk the dog and take me to the rest room! Ok some is covered most of those thing I all ready have a machine to do and it's called MY WIFE! I know that sound bad but it's the truth! Now that restroom thing they won't let me get a bed pan because no one will dump it! the won't get me a porter potty because then I got to get up! And that's not in the plan! Let's see if I can run a tube from my butt and my big oil checker if they make one that big Ha Ha and I know what the ladies just said you wish that saw that and I'm ready! But no you wish! Then you would not have that vibrator under your bed because you can't get a oil checker to fit your swamp! Ok let get back to me! These tubes will run from me to the toilet and hope that Tyler my dog don't chew on it because he just might get a brown surprise! And then my machine will be piss then I have to get off my lazy azz and clean! Nope that is not the plan! What the hell is the plan? To lay my lazy azz right here and do what I do best Fart eat sleep and channel search to see the Acc play basketball or march madness in full HDTV now is that so bad? But to my machine and my kids and that dog that sits on it's lazy azz and don't get a job or won't guard the dam house any one can come in and this dog won't move! Heck me and the dog can be good friends until I have to let it out side to take a crap! And heck no that is not the plan! Why can't a man have this one tiny thing? Oh you say what tiny thing? Just to lay on my couch and let my feet stink up the room as they are higher than my head and get you to wait on me hand and foot hell if we can work something out you can take me to bathroom! But I know that's in the plan! One more thing to ladies! If you don't mind march madness is just around the bend and If you don't mind all that I was suppose to do let that stuff wait until the Tar heels win it all and if they don't win let that stuff wait until they do why I'm lazy as hell today and that potato look just like me don't you think? Ok it look better than me how about cook it and put some ketchup on it give it to me and tonight you won't have to used that vibrator! Because I will get the heck up for sex! And when half time is up in the game you will burn that god forsaking machine that make you so dam lazy!